This was me so many years ago with my sister at easter, the little girl is my oldest one who is 27 now, at this point in my life i had such fun in life, did things ,went places, had cook outs and i knew who i was and what i wanted, hated the ground my X wife walked on but was content with me. I had friends that i spent time with, people who really cared about me, now i can count the people i trust with my heart on 1 finger, the world has changed, for the worst, it is now the i only care for myself people in it, it is sad to think about at times but i sware it did not used to be that way. At this point in my life i just feel used up and tired, tired if loving people and caring and never having it retured, my kids love me but noone else in life. I know tons of people but none of them are like true friends they take what they need and move on, what happen to the world to make it this way, were did all the happy people go.
I sit back and look at my life and would not change the people i have touched in life because i carry a little bit of them all in me, and most of my life i have done well, and had many happy days. I guess things have went down hill the past 5 years, i should have done many things but just did not do it, well after many sleepless nites i can tell you that it was a fucked up way to look at life and i should have done things better just for me so i could say i tryed but really i did nothing to change things, and things got worst and now look how fucked up things are. I miss so many things in life but i miss brats touch and careing ways and can only blame myself. Brat leaves for a weeks trip tuesday and i look forward to the time to think about things by my self, 7 days to decide what i want in life, were i want to be. Well i can only hope she finds what she needs in life, have worked on me in a lot of ways and feel i 'am working in the right way for me, for fifthteen years i have been with one woman and have never wanted to be any were else, maybe its time for a change, nite to all, be happy ....eddie
6 comments:
I can relate to that on so many levels. And those people you can trust/get close to are few and far between alright...many are self absorbed out there and things definitely are different. Or maybe it's just part of getting older and everyone having their own affairs to focus on? I don't know, I just know I "got" this and find myself feeling the same. But I like the people here, on the internet.
Hang in there Eddie.
I know what you mean when you say you can count the people you trust with your heart on 1 finger.
I have some trust issues these days, I guess. It'll pass. One day I expect I'll meet someone who I want to trust with my heart, and everything..
Sometimes I worry about you Eddie.. I hope you don't stay 'down' for too long.. life can only get better, trust me. I'm a little further down the road maybe than you are.. it does get easier...
Chin up, ok
hey dad im sorry your down and out but mabey we can do something like go fishing its been so long that we have been fishing. or we can just hang out try and find some off time so we can do something ok love you dad.
love scotty
now that's gotta' bring a smile?
Nice post!
Been kinda busy with the pregnant wife and all...
Ithinkj something may be wrong with my eyes.
Can you swing by for a look?
You were cute back then, and now too I am sure. I want to say that I love you, why because I love everyone and you sure seem worthy of love.
Take care be well
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