Eddie's Place

2012-01-24T18:40:00.002-05:00

Well i came on to see if anyone is still here, me i'm alive and well still trying to live life the best i can,it's good to see i can still come here and vent and tell my many life time of shit to people and not have to worry about it, hope all is well with every one out there...eddie

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T10:33:00.002-05:00

Well another one comes and goes, and it was a good one, kids did good and all went well, abram had his first one and did well, abram is my sons bull dog, he had fun.. this will be the last one with all of us together in one house but thats life and it moves on so i must move with it, 2010 will be a good year and the first time i have been on my own since i was 19 years old, i look forward to it just being me, and of course my big dog and cats, well to all out there in the blog world i wish you the best day ever...eddie

Time for a new day!!!!!!

2009-11-16T22:02:00.002-05:00

Well as the sun rises over a dark night it's time for me to step into the light and see the day for what it is, for the last 4 years i have sit and put my head in the sand waiting for god knows what,its time for a change in life and it starts with this blog, I'm tired if the Winnie shit i write about a past lost, I'm tired of living in a dream world that is not real, its time i pull up the old pants and kick a few ass's, i know a lot of people look at me as a peace of shit and all i have to say on that is don't look!!!!!!!

At the age of 51 i look forward to being just me again, since i was 18 i have always had some one to take care of in life, well now its just me and dam I'm going to make the most of it,got my dog and cat and that's all i really need, they say in life all works out for a reason well i see that now, i would Rather live alone than to live a fake life, my fat cat keeps me warm at night, well lets see how all this works out to all have a wonderful night...Eddie

Been gone awhile!!!!!

2009-02-12T16:25:00.002-05:00

Well lets see if i can still do this, been gone a long time, missed every one but really needed to take a good look at me and fix alot of things in my life, i had the worst out look for a long time and had to slap myself and open my eyes to life..

Single is not so bad as it seems, life still move on just have to stay the course and make it count, still miss two loving arms but happy with me now and were i'm going in life, not perfect but good, i see alot of the blogs i read have not been doing so good , most just gone now, but i like my blog and it is a track of my life, maybe one day it will help someone to find there way in life or help them to see that no matter were life takes us you just have to smile and keep on living life to the best we can, there are so many things we never see in life, open your eyes see what life has to offer and grab on and hang on tight what you seek is there, well let me run for now to all peace and love...Eddie

Life moves on!!!!!!

2008-08-21T19:01:00.002-05:00

As i sit here living every day and seeing what the world holds for me in this thing we call life, i see that it is what we make it, i sit for so very long feeling sorry for my self and now i see the time i've wasted being stupid. I look out at the storm and see the rain is not so bad after all, so many things we over looked in life, always felt i had to be with some one to be compleat, now i see that in life all we need is to be content with ones self, not don't get me wrong love is grand but not all it's made out to be. No one ever seems to be happy with one another, seems the grass is always greener some were else in life, seems like you will never be good enough no matter what you do, but i say shit to that, if they can't learn to help each other then they had no insite in the first place, everyone live's behind the walls to pectect them selfs from each other, when is someone going to stand up and start living life instead of hiding from it. Life is wonderful at times and if you take the time to look inside your self its all in side you, yea its nice to have some one to share it with but you can do it by your self if you want to..After being single for almost 2 years it made me look at my self and see the things inside me that haunted me and made me be the way i was, i over looked the things that should have been important in life to me.. but in the light of a new day i see i'm better off with the way things worked out or i would have never seen what i was doing in life, but me i'm a work in progess to see how much i can make me whole and to live life and see were it leads me and knowing which road to travel for me.. but i'm happy with me and the things i do in life, i watch my kids grow and see there life's move own with me here to see it and thats enough for now, nothing in life last forever so be happy with the little spot you have, i live, i learn, i see, i touch, i breath, life's good for now enjoy it all, live like the day is your last on earth, never know were you might wake up next....Eddie

I'm here, still screming in the dark!!!

2008-05-12T17:50:00.002-05:00

Days move on and life goes by but i still keep on trucking on day by day, today was hot had to get up a 5am and go service trucks, then put a fuel pump in a 2002 tahoe so was a busy day and still found time to help a friend swap tires on his car. Each day gets better for me as i find me more and more, Its always seems to be lost to me why we never have fun any more, why else are we here, to do the best we can and enjoy what we make for our selfs in life, to help each other live life the best we can with what we have, to smile at all we find wonderful in life, to touch and feel in life, the heart closes and we become so lost in this world, we work to build a life and then never enjoy it, why not just smile and say well i did the best i could and thats enough for now.. In the past i worried about such stupid shit in life, i was looking for some one or something to make me happy but it was inside me all the time, all i had to do is find it agine, lost but not forgotten, I might not be the best looking or the riches or drive the best cars but i'm happy for what i have and i feel happy inside at this point in life so what the hell, i stole this picture at a site i read all the time loved the way she is heading for the gate..Well guess i ragged on your ears long enough for now ,,,chow

good day

2008-04-28T18:03:00.002-05:00

another good day here slowly cleaning out my back yard and getting me stright and thats all i can do... their comes a time in your life were you see what is important in your life and what is not and thats were i'm at right now, i saw this picture and though it fit my mood plus love the water with the hills in the back ground, i'm good and getting better by the day , trying to quit smoking and that is going well only had 2 today got the patch on so wired as all hell, and tuesday i plan to smoke none need to start working out so i don't put on weight so fast and see if i have more get up and go power.. but gone from two packs to just 2 proud of my self, will see how it goes, but hope all is well out there in blog land and hope to spend more time on here soon... to all have a wonderful night...eddie

the close of another day

2008-04-14T17:49:00.003-05:00

Well the end of the day comes once agine, but it was a good day , worked hard and made money so can't complain much, would be better if i felt i was doing more in life but do the best i can for now, soon things will be set right and i can move on in till then i will get by.. look forward to a new life...eddie

Still here!!!

2008-03-25T19:59:00.002-05:00

Armed with a closed heart and a cold out look on the world i still wake up every day and look upon the world and see all the wonderful things here, as i walk out side into the cold i see the wonder of color in the land, every thing is blooming, the sky is so very blue with white cloulds blowing by, the green of the grass on the ground, the smell of the new everywhere puts a smile on my face, its nice to see that no matter what happens around me that a higher power still cares to change the world and make it all new agine..Been working hard on life and understanding the feeling i carry every day, at times i'm lost and need two loving arms to hold me tight in the dark and then i'm a loner facing the world and being strong, but every day brings new wonderful things to see, slowly i find me and get on track . but all in all i'm happy with me and glad god put me here to face the world, he's got my back.........eddie

Somewhere I Belong..

2008-02-19T22:09:00.002-05:00

I've sit here now in my little pretend world for over a year now telling myself things will work out, but i see now i have just been telling myself a lie, i sit here day in and day out numb, cut off from the world, I want to feel, to heal, to live agine, to be held agine and loved, to be close and feel a heart beating next to me, to look in someones eyes and know they love me. For so long now i have spent my whole life just staying were i felt safe even when i knew i would get hurt. I'm 49 now and starting to beleive what my mom told me so many years ago, she knew what i would not see in life. She told me that their was no place for me in this world, that i did not belong in todays time line, and i feel she was right, the more i look at my life and what i wanted i see that nothing worked out the way i want it to, the only thing i feel good about is my kids, 4 of them i helped to raise, but they are wonderful kids that are so very speacel in their own way, and i love them dearly. but the rest of my life and the love i wanted never came to past, i've always been the on the outside looking in , seeing every one find such love in there life's, people i watched share there love with one another but i could never seem to find that hidden love in my life..

I come to a cross roads in my life were i can look at myself and see the cruel joke that life has played on me, every thing i wanted to find just passed me by or i fucked it up. I get up every day and have to fight off the depression inside just to get out the door, and i tell myself it can only get better but it never happens, i'm tired of fighting and ready to end this war inside myself, only god knows why i'm here any more, and we seem to have not talked in a while. I really seem to be at a lost place right now, i've looked at my demons in my darkest place in my mind and they look back at me with hate and tell me its to late to save myself, but life goes on and on, I have alot of work to do on me, i sit here feeling sorry for my self ands its time i got off my ass and told the world to fuck off, i've be alone most of my life any way but it would be so nice just to feel loved of only for a moment in life, intill then i'm here, i breath, i see, i feel, sorry my life is so boreing, i keep feeling like i'm letting some one down, me......, i beleave in me i will survive if just tell the ones that hurt me to bite me...eddie

I'm Alive

2008-01-30T17:41:00.001-05:00

Yep i'm still alive, sorry to let you know that, know some people wish i would fall off the face of the world but what can i say, things are good and just working on life and cars trying to find my way in the world like everyone else, thought i would start bloging agine and see if i can do better at it, need something to put my spare time in, hope to see you all soon...eddie

Happy turkey dayyyyy

2007-11-22T09:20:00.000-05:00

Well another turkey day has come and the wild bird chase is on, people fighting over the big peace of bird agine, to all out there in blog land enjoy your day with your love ones and have a very wonderful turkey day......eddie

A New Way Of Life!!!!!

2007-10-22T18:45:00.000-05:00

I thought this way funny, so many people try to find love online and yes i have looked a few times, some of the storys you read are so funny. Well life moves on and slowly i'am putting the peaces of me back together the way i want them, takes time and not a easy thing at times but i'm tough and have a great since of how i want me to be in life, so many people have told me to find a new love or just get layed, but it is just to soon for me, i'm content to be just me right now , i like not having anyone expect anything of me, if i shave fine, if not fine, i can do what i want when i want. I have more time for the things in life i want to do and its been so long since i just had to worry about just me, Yes there are things i miss about my wife but slowly they fade away. I have time for working on me alone, no hopes but to be the best i can be for me and thats enough for right now, and i really don't care what anyone thinks of me any more, i have missed blogging but i needed to clear out the old head were i could think about life and the things i want, i'm content with my life, i have helped rise 4 kids and have seen more in life than most people have, my life is good and i have a roof over my head, food on the table, i have a job i love and a lot of people don't have that much in life, i have met some very nice people on line( peanut,deb,toasty) and a lot more than i can name. I read threw people's life's on blogs and i feel i'am not the only one with a sad life, shit happens and its better to talk about it than to bury it, i read blogs dayly and feel it helps me. well guess thats all for now to all enjoy life like there is no day comming because it may not....Eddie

A better day!!!!

2007-09-19T06:20:00.000-05:00

Well the rain is still here, tooth hurts and Im behind on work due to the rain but all in all i feel better inside. Brat is out of town for a week and its just me and the boy, lets me see what it will be like to live alone without a woman around(not bad) Got to go to the doctor today for tooth and have a motor to finish if rain ever stops, my back yard is like mush right now,got a new sony sure shot so plan to do a lot more pictures of my work and things i like. I really do thank you all for the support you have gave me, i can see a light at the end of the tunnel and i know i will be fine when all the dust clears, the last few days have been kind of nice just to be here by my self , i have had some fun messing with the boy and his friends, did some house work and just been me, sitting here drinking coffee loving my cat who wants to say hi to every one, Mojo seems to like to blog with me, But all in all i feel more like me today and i like what i see in my future, there all way to many things in this world i love to hide in a hole, don't really know what will happen with brat but what ever happens i will survive and live life and have fun. When brat gets back and has time to rest maybe we can sit down and calmly talk about the future and get some things stright about what we want to do with our life's. But for now work and pets are my life and thats enough for now, well got to go get dressed for doctor and chase cats around the house, to all be safe and have fun in life....Eddie...

Another sunday

2007-09-09T19:48:00.000-05:00

Well another working sunday, have trouble trying to keep my mind on the things i need to, a lot of things i just don't understand right now(stupid male thing) but i seem to get by, i feel like this little kittie at times, i tryed to make a life but it got fucked up, guess i was just not worth trying to make a life with. brat goes out of town soon and i look forward to the time with out her here, tired of seeing her giving hugs and telling people she loves them when there's nothing for me, just work and bring the money home is all i feel i'm good for any more, sucks at times. At times i just want to fade away off the face of the earth, but there are many things i love here, I guess if i understand what the hell is going on i could move on, but maybe in time, what i need is a good fast ride, its been a whild since i fired the hog up.

I really love our home and where it is but the strain of being here with her is making it were i don't even want to be here, thinking about a big shed sale and moving on, have had a few people tell me they need room mates hell never know, my home has become a place of lost hope and dreams, broken words, and lost souls, I am just so tired of feeling like such a loser, i know i'm a good person and a lot of people love me but the one i want the most is on some kind of new life so the hell with the old and in with the new.. guess i should have knew this was coming but i held on as long as i could, stupid of me but what can i say and now i'm in the same boat as her x husband, i use to laugh at him but now i know just how he feels, maybe i should start stuffing coke up my nose like him, But thats not me, Don't like drugs of any kind, but the next time i see her x i will tell him i'm sorry because i now know how he must of felt, but on a happy note things are fair in side me, the sooner i move on the better..

The thing i really miss the most is being in someones arms, the closeness, but its been a long time since we shared any thing, as i climb out of this pit i have put myself in i feel a new world open but sad to lose the old one, i see many things i have passed by for a long time, i meet new people all the time, just need to start doing things for me and my kids now, working on my home and making it a home for me and the kids, need to start painting agine and fixing, thinking about changing my bed room, want something new, something of my own with a door, not a walk threw, have many things i want to do but have to wait intill she finds what she wants to do, she told me i could keep the house for me and the boy but things change so who knows what will happen day to day... Once in a life time you find someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with and i just always seem to pick the wrong ones, will be content to be by my self with just friends in my life, have many things i want to do and see, want to teach the boy to ride my bike, he's never really been on a ride, felt the wind fly by a 90 miles an hour and to see all the sites along the ride, nothing better in life any more, in time that will happen, need to find him a small bike to learn on and then open road calls, well got to go, have paper work to do, will be back soon, to all have fun or die trying to......Eddie

Funny as hell!!!!!!

2007-08-31T18:14:00.000-05:00

I thought this was so fitting, they need to put him in a pit with a bunch of dogs and let them eat his ass, hopefuly someone one in prison will love dogs enough to teach him a lession, life is fair and things going good , have not been able to free my mind enough to blog the way i want to, so many things in there i want to say but the words will not come to me..., but i get better every day and have very few sad days, i look forward to the day when my soul will be free of this mess and i move on with life one way or the other, i miss the touch of another person and someone to do things with but i'm getting use to being alone, shame alone with some one so close to me but no feeling returned in any way, but one day who knows what will happen in this life...I have hope and drive to make it, won't be down for long, want to thank peanut for stopping by to cheak on me, thanks dear, it helps pull me out of myself, lot of work today and tired, rain missed me so i stayed dry.

Will try to do better at blogging need to find to words i want to say without always talking about my pain, so sick of reading my own words, they always say the same shit, there are so many more important things in life than me all the time, well to all have a wonderful night...eddie

Every mans dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-25T07:31:00.000-05:00

Yes folks this is what every man really wants in life, enjoy....eddie

Never sleep alone!!!!!!!

2007-07-24T19:43:00.000-05:00

Well this is my room and i share it with the crew, 4 cats and two dogs, the room has changed alot but the baby's are always some where in it, one of them sleeps with me ever night, the rest come and go, pink said i needed to post so here i'am been kind of busy lately so not much time and when i do have time can't seem the find the words i want to write, and yes that's a bull dog with my cats, mojo gives her cat loving all the time and she loves it, when mojo was a little cat he use to sit in her food bowl while she ate and she never once got mad, just rooted him around to eat, so don't believe what you hear about bull dogs, its all in the way they are raised, and mine was raised right a big baby, sleeps by my bed and snores worst than me. Been doing good lately have my good days and bad but all in all i get by, work is good and life shows new paths each day, the only thing i really miss is being in her arms at times(and sexxxxxxxxx) hehehe, but i do alright by myself, learning to count on me only and standing taller every day. I live for me now, don't care what people think of me i do the best i can at this time and it will only get better as time moves on, little things seem to mean a lot more to me than they ever did, i take time to look at the wonderful things around me that god put here for us, or who ever you think put it all here, don't won't to upset anyone here..., but i do plan to blog more just getting me straight first so that i can come on here and not be so lost for words, got to get me something to take picture with so i can post more of them, i see such wonderful shit every day, stuff that most people just walk by and never see, so we will see what happens here... well pink i posted just for you dear, thanks for wanting me to, its nice to know someone really wants to hear about my life in this big old world, to all the blog people out there have a wonderful night and be safe......Eddie

Head out of ass day!!!!

2007-07-15T19:47:00.000-05:00

Well not yet!! But thought i would get my head out of my ass and write something, things are busy lately and hot as hell or raining, great fl weather, sitting here with train playing and a big cup of coffee, thinking about getting in the hot tub and soaking my worrys away( and helping my back), will write more another day, for now be safe and enjoy life, and a speacel prayer goes out to (((((((peanut)))))))) may it all work out dear and be safe, out of here for now....Eddie

One of those moods

2007-07-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever lost someone and known they were the best part of you, well that the way i feel tonight, i know i should not be feeling this way but sometimes i still do, I was part of something that was so good and let it slip away, and nights like this just seem to remind me of the sweet things i miss. 16 years ago i fell in love with a sweet set of green eyes that has a sweetness that goes with it, tall and lean with a great since of love making, long sweet arms, with legs that go on forever. She showed me how to live agine, in her arms i grew to know love and what love was about, but i never knew the last lession till now, i should have not worried about any thing she did, should have just been happy that she was with me, because none of it was important as long as she loved me, hard lession to learn if your male.

We go threw life not caring about the things we should care about, like a sweet set of arms around you late at nite, someone to share a hot cup of coffee on a cold day, someone to love you no matter what you do. To feel a sweet nude body next to you late at night and to know she's there because she wants to be, things like that i miss right now, I see her everyday i see those green eyes and i know they are no longer mine, my fault, can't really blame noone but my self.

Now don't think i'm sitting here crying in my milk, just one of those nights that i really miss her, and would trade my left nut to have her back, but each day i get better, in the day i'm strong and do what i have to, i thank about her and it puts a big smile on my face, but all in all i wish her happyness in life, and hope she finds her happy place she needs. well will run for now, to all have a wonderful night...eddie

Something new!!!!

2007-07-03T17:10:00.000-05:00

I found this the other day and just had to have some, with the trouble i have had with my blog lately and some people thinking i write only about them, i thought i would get something to help, this is the new improved asshole repellent, one spray and assholes just go away, but on a real note things are good with me, better everyday, work doing ok and life calming down, i look at things alot better now and make the most of what i have in life, want to change the look of my blog but there seems to be a short between me and blogger, but working on it, got my ass wet today out in the rain working on a truck, and then put a water pump on for ten pounds of shrimp, big ones too, hope to have things fixed around here soon had trouble with the roof it leaked like you were outside in the shed, got that done and now have to fix the fire place will have all done soon, putting a motor in a truck plus service all week so a great week, well will write more soon...Eddie

something funny

2007-06-26T23:35:00.001-05:00

Thought i would give you all something to laugh at tonight, this is me at sweet 16 getting ready to go to the prom with my sister, her date canceled out on her so i went with her, i had a wonderful time and this was the only suit i could rent in one hour time frame, it was a good night and i got to hang out with all the older kids, will have my blog up to full steam soon, to all have a wonderful night...eddie

working on blog

2007-06-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

working on my blog making changes will have it back up soon, eddie

My Blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-12T17:42:00.000-05:00

First off let me thank everyone for there coments on my last post, it was good to hear that some people think i should keep my blog, so thank you very much, second off let me say i'm sorry for even getting my self in such a place in my mind that i would let someones actions take something away from me i really like. I'm going to keep my blog like it is, i'm not going to hide it, and i'm going to say what i feel when i want to, and if anyone don't like it well sorry but thats me, I admit i'am not the best writer, or i might not spell every little thing right, but i do the best i can at this point and time in life, i'm sorry that i might not be good enought for every one in this world but if i was it would be a boring place..

Over the past 6 months since me and my wife split up i have learned many things about my self, i'am far from perfect but i have looked at the eye of the beast and the parts of me that are wrong i'am fixing, and not for no one but me, i will be the best i can and be happy in life, as far as my wife goes she is a good person who i will always wish the best for in life, it takes two to make or break what we had, we both broke it, and thats all i have to say on it, as far as writing about friends from now on i will use names so people won't think i'm talking about them only and that way there won't be any one getting mad... i could have gave a shit about someone being mad at me but it ended up putting pressure on my wife which she really don't need right now, i want us both to be able to find what we want in life and to be happy and remain friends..

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and life is to short for drama, I plan to live, and to find the things that put a smile on my face, going to start doing cookouts agine, fishing, and just have a little fun in life, nice bike rides, have to work out some to work on the parts of me that need to change a little, i weigh a whole 170 pounds, 6foot 1 inch tall and not to bad looking, some little kids still run when they see me,hehehe, joke there, but all in all i feel much better today, but i would really like to thank every one for the support, thankyou, well to all have a wonderful nite...eddie

More pictures of greg for tiffany

2007-06-10T16:38:00.000-05:00

Tif no matter what any one ever says about your dad, know dear that he touched the life's of many people and made there life's better for knowing him, he was funny, and one hell of a friend, he was smart and loved to fish and shrimp, but most of all dear he was a man with a heart as big as the world, he gave all to what he did in life and he loved his children with all that he was, if we went some where fishing , me him, and al we took als camper and shrimped all nite, he loved to joke and know dear that he watches over you even now, when you get older and want to know more about your dad call me and some of the storys i could tell will put a big smile on your face, know that he was like my brother and that i loved him, know that when life was at a low for me he was there for me, he was a good man in a world of fools dear...eddie

My Last Post

2007-06-09T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well this is to let people know that my lost post about friends was about friends over years not just one, it was not intented to piss anyone off, sorry it was taking the wrong way, over the last 20 years i have had a lot of people that i have thought were friends that just are gone now. The last post was about all of them not just one, so so sorry if any one got offended by it but maybe people should be willing to listen to why i wrote the post and who it was really about before they get mad, now that would be a true friend, well sorry any way to who ever it may have upset...eddie

What i've done- a song-linkin park

2007-06-02T19:39:00.000-05:00

I heard this song the other day and loved the words, linkin park is a great band in the way they put so much in there songs....

In this farewell

there's no blood

there's no alibi

cause i've drawn regret

from the truth

of a thousand lies

so let mercy come

and wash away

what i've done

I've faced myself

to cross out i've become

Erase myself

and let go of what i've done

put to rest what you thought

of me well i cleaned this slate

with the hands of uncertainty

For what i've done i'll start again

And whatever pain may come

today this ends i'm forgiving

What i've done

I've faced myself to cross out

what i've become, erase myself

and let go of what i've done...

I listen to this song and it let me know what i need to do with me, its time to let go of all the pain i blame my self for, time to let go and move on with life, to live again and to find what i've lost in life, Me

Me fighting with a stump

2007-04-27T15:40:00.000-05:00

This is a old fight i have been putting off for a long time, i cut that tree down about 7 years ago and i have not touched it since, well i thought it was time to kick its ass and i did, this stump was swamp oak and was hard as a brick, i hoped it would die but it just got harder.Like so many things i have just stoped and turned my back on well its time to live agine, I gave up on life and just shut down for a long time, just did what i had to only, no fun and did nothing but work, well got my bike back and its time to come out of my shell, going to do some riding and fishing, and just want to spend time with good friends and find better friends, i plan to be me and if people don't like it they know were the door is. But things are good made peace with myself and things between me and my wife are fair since we called it quits, i have got a lot of things done i have put off for a long time, like this stump. got all the wood fixed on the back of the house and work is going good, and every single day i work on becomming a better me, now all i need is time and a good set of arms to hold me sometime and life would be great. Well to all have a wonderful day and treat those women right, you might wake to find them gone...eddie

Time moves on

2007-04-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

Been real busy with work and trying to get some much needed house work done, got the new wood on the back of the house now for the paint, got a tranmission to put in sunday and still no time for a beach ride, got to stay busy and work on life. I found this on a site i go to and thought it fit me well, lost my diamond while i was out looking at stones, so whats new in the world, was sorry to hear about baron passing away, he had a kind soul i know in my heart he will be missed in the blog world, its hard to say why someone so young left so early in life guess the lord knows why. I have been doing alot of looking at life and know in my mind that the place i have made for myself will only help me right now, i have alot to do on me and every day i work on letting go of the past, moving on with my life and trying to find peace of mind but all in all i get better every day, i smile and hold no bad feelings inside, this is not were i planed on being in life but will make do with what i have to work with.

I plan to take a week off and just ride when all is paid off and just see what kind of old friends i can find, have lost touch with alot of people and would like to see how they are, maybe even wet a hook and see how the fish are, have quit doing so many thing i enjoy in life. but for right now i am content to be with my kids and just by my self, don't have to please anyone but me , and my cats and dogs, I lay my head down every night and i know i did the best i could for the day, and i feel it will only get better, well to all have a wonderful night and be sure to hold the one you love they might not be there when you wake up, best to all, eddie

What now

2007-04-15T18:07:00.000-05:00

Well after 15 years of being a husband i now find myself free, and it crossed my mind what do free men do, well i guess i could ride my bike really fast but its to cold, so at 48 i now start a new life, need to work on the body so plan to start working out, really need to stop smoking, but hard to do, not in bad shape but could use a little toning here and there, guess i could cut my hair but i like it long, so won't do that . I guess i will have to think on it a while to see what the old mind comes up with, guess i could chase wild women but that will be way down the road, for right now just plan on working on me and living life, do some fixing up on the house and just see what life is all about, lost love twice and i really don,t see a third time in my life so i will just spend time with me for a while and work on my mobile car service, things i want to do in life i always want to do them with my wife but we never did any thing so now i will do them alone.

I love the beach and walking on it at night, the moon and stars over the water is great, the ships way out there with there lights in the dark are cool, just to go places and to do things will be a change, maybe meet new people and become part of the human chain agine, our beach has many little shops to go threw and all kind of food places so its also nice in the day time. Well any way we shall see what life brings my way and just be happy in the thought that i work on me dayly to become a better person and thats all i can do...eddie

A Day In The Life Of Eddie

2007-04-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

The day started off warm , got dressed and drank my coffee, sitting on the porch watching life pass by me, the clouds slowly blew by and the sun shined threw, as i sit there alone thinking about life, out she came, like a beam of light coming into the day she passed by and sit in the chair across from me, as i looked into her sweet green eyes i knew in my heart i had lost the best part of me, but if she can be happy it is worth it, she has been sad for so long, as we sit and talked i felt a calm about myself and work called my name, off i had to go but parts held me up, so worked on a engine and then returned to service trucks , got home at 4pm and then had to do brakes on a car. thought about a ride tonite but was just to tired, sit here now waiting for hot water and thinking about my life and all the turns it has followed, each soul i have touched has left part of it self on me, i have lived and loved, watched children grow, have seen many wonderful things, but the water at night washing over the bow of a ship touched me, it glowed like a green light in the dark, the fish would swim in it and it was just wonderful, words can not really tell it in the right way, you would have had to be there.

Things like that touch me, little things that most people would not care about. A lot of people judge you about your home, or your money, or the way you look, well to me the love of a good woman and the thought that you did the best you could means more to me, we are all human, we all make mistakes, we learn from them if we are smart, well water is hot so let me go wash the dirt of another day off, i lay down tonite knowing inside myself i did the best i could today....eddie

A new day

2007-04-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

Well the day started early and had to go service trucks, but all is going well, starting to get back in to life and look at things in a different light, i feel in a way i have lifted a weight off my head by letting go of the past, now i can only do the best i can and for those who think so low of me, well too bad you may think i'am a peace of shit but at least i took care of the things i had too and did not run away, made sure i worked and took care of my kids and stayed here when most people would have run a long time of go, but enought with that shit it is not worth the time to think about it. Right now at this point in time i feel good about myself and thats all i can do, work is good and my mind feels better all the time, i work on me dayly and that is a good thing, I am now taking time to see the world around me and to see things i never took time to see, I have lived in a please everyone but my self world for so long that i forgot about the most important things in life.

I love doing things for my kids and my friends, like fixing bikes and just taking time to smell a rose, or walk threw the grass with my shoes off, or just to smile at people, i look forward to the summer and riding my bike agine or just sitting on the beach, well let me go things call me away from the keys, to all have a wonderful day and smile..eddie

Happy day

2007-04-01T19:47:00.000-05:00

Well today was long but good, got the fuel pump in at last, 94 firebirds suck if you have to drop the gas tank, but it is doneeeee. Things are good and each day gets better, lots of work and happy with the way i'am working on me, starting to feel i just might make myself happy in life, got to do head gaskets on a dodge in the morning and then a motor in a toyota, so no time to ride but like the thought of it. weekend will be fleet service and then who knows, maybe the moon, to all have a great nite and be happyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

Baby's Back

2007-03-29T20:15:00.000-05:00

This is my baby, after two years she is going to be mine agine, the guy i sold it to got a new one and wants to make a great deal on it, i took it out today to see how she rides and after a few adjustments she flew like the wind, i really needed a good ride and at 130 miles per hour it really clears the mind,the faster i went the better i felt, i was free to fly. My son in law did the paint and when i sold it it put tears in my eyes, but she is home now so after a fast ride and the sun in my face and the wind by my side i felt a calm in me, very nice, made me feel like a king flying down the road going so fast that i could not count the light poles, she is a 1100 honda sabra and she is one of a kind, well got to go things to do roads to ride, be good and have a wonderful nite...

A Happy Me

2007-03-23T18:38:00.000-05:00

This was me so many years ago with my sister at easter, the little girl is my oldest one who is 27 now, at this point in my life i had such fun in life, did things ,went places, had cook outs and i knew who i was and what i wanted, hated the ground my X wife walked on but was content with me. I had friends that i spent time with, people who really cared about me, now i can count the people i trust with my heart on 1 finger, the world has changed, for the worst, it is now the i only care for myself people in it, it is sad to think about at times but i sware it did not used to be that way. At this point in my life i just feel used up and tired, tired if loving people and caring and never having it retured, my kids love me but noone else in life. I know tons of people but none of them are like true friends they take what they need and move on, what happen to the world to make it this way, were did all the happy people go.

I sit back and look at my life and would not change the people i have touched in life because i carry a little bit of them all in me, and most of my life i have done well, and had many happy days. I guess things have went down hill the past 5 years, i should have done many things but just did not do it, well after many sleepless nites i can tell you that it was a fucked up way to look at life and i should have done things better just for me so i could say i tryed but really i did nothing to change things, and things got worst and now look how fucked up things are. I miss so many things in life but i miss brats touch and careing ways and can only blame myself. Brat leaves for a weeks trip tuesday and i look forward to the time to think about things by my self, 7 days to decide what i want in life, were i want to be. Well i can only hope she finds what she needs in life, have worked on me in a lot of ways and feel i 'am working in the right way for me, for fifthteen years i have been with one woman and have never wanted to be any were else, maybe its time for a change, nite to all, be happy ....eddie

Me

2007-03-14T21:55:00.000-05:00

This is my card, it shows what i feel like most of the time, two dragons pulling two ways, my mind goes two ways fighting for which way would be better for me, the war never ends but eases with time and time has come for the real eddie to please stand up. Wanted to post and say hi to every one, will be back soon....me

Happy birthday brat

2007-02-19T07:22:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday my dear brat and i hope many more for you, another year to look forward to, may all your wishes come true my love....eddie

good day

2007-02-03T18:51:00.000-05:00

Well today was a good day, worked hard and got a lot done so thats all i can ask for now. Did brakes and tune up on a truck, just trying to make do with what i have, got to do service at mathews sunday, got to keep those trucks running but i like it. working on me a lot and trying to just live in this one moment in time, letting go of all the past and really don't care about what happens in the future right now, just one day at a time and it seems to work for now. things change in life and nothing last forever but we carry on in any way we can. i look back on all the things in my life and i still smile. i love me and the things i do and that will keep getting better, i miss the things and people i have lost but each one of them have touched me in some way that i like. Still looking for a car to do but they are hard to come by here in fl, but the hunt goes on, i want a 69 charger and a new charger and then strip the new one and put every thing in the old one. I think that would be cool as hell, we shall see. but things are good with me and thats a first for a long time, mind and heart are calming down and i see that the world will still turn and move on. Also would like to think all the wonderful people that have been coming here and giving me support and helpful advice(thinks) well let me run for the night, night to all and sleep well and warm..